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The Year of Sluttery: A Journey of Sex, Singlehood, and Self

Reading Scarlett Jones’ stories are like hanging out with that single best friend who shares all the dirty details you wanna know: the travesty of her last date, the juiciness of a luscious booty call, the confusion of trying to figure out what the fuck his last Tinder message means. Becoming single at the age of 54 having only had two relationships, a 28-year-marriage and a six-year love affair where he “forgot” to propose, this former Southern Baptist Sunday School teacher decides purposefully to become a proud slut.

As Jones navigates the treacherous waters of online dating, she shares her newly acquired knowledge that coochie videos might be shared in a local bar, lost condom searches are excruciating, and pierced penises are fun but their owners can be complete dicks. “Militantly authentic” according to one squeeze, she shares her fears of being squishy in the middle, her sometimes loneliness with nary even a pet for company, and her frustration in the entire dating process.

The Year of Sluttery is a 115, 000 word memoir searching for a forever home with a smart, sexy publisher.

The first date off the apps...

Einstein

"I see you!" he texted.
I turned.
My heart sank.
He didn't look like his photos.
At. All.

Dating Noob

The Year of Sluttery details the stories of the first year of my experience as a total newbie to the online dating world. The first nookie is a man who bawls like a moose during sex. I make a married man fall in love with me in one date, then choose to never see him again. I fall into a summer relationship with the Cranky Narcissist, break up after he loudly asserts my bathtub should have been cleaner before my sister came over and he would have cleaned it for me had I given him a key to my place.

The Poet...
swoooon